I heard some stories from students and clients Friday that made me realize how important being clear is; especially in relationships.
I don’t want to get into the he said/she said nonsense but the descriptions of three different relationships made me shudder at the consequences. In all of the cases the melt downs of the families created hardships for both sides. The financial consequences were catastrophic; probably in the million dollar loss range considering where we live.
I wanted to ask (but they aren’t my clients), Did you ask any questions of yourself when you started down this path? Did you ask yourself, “why am I attracted to this person and what do I want my life to be like in our daily life?” Did you ever ask what is my desired outcome for marriage or commitment? Why do I want children and how do I want to see them grow and flourish?
It is easy to fall in love. A beautiful face, a pleasing manner but a life together shows us people without the pleasing face and a manner under stress. One of the key points of learning to fight is to learn to keep a calm nervous system under the stress of attack. Fighting in a dojo is easy compared to the stress one is under when your finances meltdown or someone is sick. Keeping a calm nervous system is paramount in stressful situations.
The first thing, though, is to define how your relationship will function under stress; as well as under the endorphins of lust. Clarity and happiness go hand in hand.
Reporting on my projects. 1) Project one I’ve started reshaping my chapter on problems to make the overall structure of the method clear. The earlier way I’d written it was tied up in the long example I used. For clarity I needed to separate the description from the example. 2) Project 2 I’ve picked a problem from the book and am poking at the solution 🙂 More tomorrow.